Hero

"The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else."- Umberto Eco

I think of this quote on a regular basis. Why? Well because like most men before me being a hero is something I think I desire. Which is of course so very easy to say from the comfort of my computer desk with food cooking in the oven and the nice weather out. So I've realized that being a hero is tough not just achieving the status of hero but living it and if luck and skill are on your side surviving it. Some how though I find my self not discouraged in the least but rather encouraged by the fact that its going to be a rough ride, I would rather stand my ground to protect some one, even it means that I swap fates with them, than run and shake my head at how horrible things were. I have for some years now thought of a hero in one of two ways, I believe both are true but just different angles on the issue, there are the Trents and the Denises (Characters from the Emerald Eyes series by the way) those people that are such a force that events revolve around them and not the other way around as it does for normal folk; and then there is the Rauls those people who given extroardanry situations manage to do things that leave awe in the minds of the people around them. I suppose I think of a hero in the physical sense because im young but I do recognize the other kind of heroes, the Aenea's. That is the people who do things so great for large groups of people that their names are not remembered they are reveared. I have no aspirations to be the second kind that is not the type of thing that can be planned for or if it is than I know some how for certain that it is well beyond my reach. So when I look at the type of people I view as heroes I know I can not be a Trent or a Denise, I'm not the kind of person who makes everyone feel that things will be ok no matter what and I'm not nearly smart enough or any other of the millions of enoughs. With the impossibility of the first kind, and the unplanability of the third kind, im left only the second kind the Rauls. I feel like life is a big build up to some period of time where my skills and knowledge will be the difference between something big, and maybe not big on a world scale, a regional scale or even a neighborhood scale; maybe just a personal scale but that would be enough. I know I should be a content coward focus on school and make a good living but I would so much rather fight to the bitter end, even a defeat, for a cause that meant something. I hate being young and full of romaniticism it robs you of your higher mental functions at times.

Humanity:4

Evil:0

Sweden:1

Me:-1

There is of course the existential course of debate that I've yet to feel satisfied about, that is whether or not its ok not to be a hero, or try to be. Is it enough to be happy and make those around you happy ignoring possible potential for more? Or do we as people with our gifts have a duty to the world to do everything we are able to do. I don't honestly know but I figure with the prodigous death rate of heroes these days, at least I assume it must be high because I don't see many if any walking around, trying my best is all I can do if I should die in the process... well I'll be a bit to dead to notice.

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." - Isaac Asimov

Heres to more than pleasant and a quick transition.