soo

It's been a while since I posted I keep meaning to but then something comes up. Any ways it has been a kind of crummy week especially financially, and no not just because the economy chopped its own leg off and is using blood thinners to stop the bleeding, but because my work decided to put the cut off date way early and so my check which was expected to inlude at least 24 hours of work time only included 16.35. Which means I have to make the $134.72 I was paid last for another two weeks although at least that check will be a fat one. On top of this was the discovery that my 24 hour fitness membership expired so had to open a new account because the dicks never bothered to mention that I couldnt continue with out paying the initiation fee again... fuck them. So I had to pay 30 bucks plus 2 months up front which came to about 130 dollars... aka my pay check. But oh well thats life, didn't have my dateish, im not sure if thats what it is really I hope so, thing friday because she couldn't make it but its moved to this friday so theres something to brighten the week. So just gotta plow through some midterms and boring days of work to get there. Worse yet is the fact that one of my friends is going off the deep end and I can't help her, so much harder to fight a demon thats not yours.

Hot damn

So, I have what amounts to a meeting with said blond from previous posts, I'm quite excited we'll see what happens. Work today was work, pretty simple kinda busy oh well they pay me. I've noticed a difference from the creatine now, I can do a lot more sets now and the muscles certainly look much bigger.

I was sitting in my car about to leave work at 10:30 thursday night and noticed a co-worker getting into her car and so I stalled and got some gum and did some stuff to make sure she got in safely. It made me wonder if people I know realize that if something happened I would with out hesitating step in, again its probably my over romanticized youth but I really am looking out for people. So this is my official notice that there is one bat shit crazy teenage boy out there willing to do anything neccesary to keep people around him generally safe. I hope some one is watching my back the same way because that baseball bat in my trunk really isn't very helpful against too many people or a firearm. This should also mean to those of you that I count as friends that if you ever really needed help and I'm not there no matter what time of day call me, I'll be there as fast as I can and while I won't be mad at you but if people are whats causing you trouble you can bet I'll have some fury to vent. Oh well you only live once at least as far as I can tell.

Today is a good day.

Long week

It has been a long week, Thursday was rough didnt get enough sleep went to school came home early because my second class was canceled. I tried to take a nap but failed miserably and ended up spending two and half hours at the gym. Then I went home and did a couple sets of hill sprints and a mile jog. Then work at 6:30, all sorts of fun on the job training at Target, mostly found out my job could be done by a poorly trained monkey but that is ok I guess because they pay me. Then at 10:30 I get off work and head down to fremont for a magic card release and ended up being up till 5:30am. I woke up at 7:30 and went to the dentist who took quite some time to do his job and got out of there around 10:30. Got home round 11:20 decided to nap at 12:30 and didnt wake up till 5:30. From there I just relaxed and took the day off the gym. I have much to my suprise gained 5-7lbs since I started the creatine supplementation tuesday. I'm hoping to hit about 150 and im already at 147.5 so we'll see.

Some new stuff

I had my first real day of work today, it was relatively boring the register is monotonous and aside from being forced to do it very quickly due to every transaction being... graded... rather slow mentally. I also picked up some creatine today and started using it, so far no real effects though I was significantly more recovered after each set, that may just be psychological at this point. Something more important has actually started to draw my attention, there is a blond, who im slowly talking to more and more we'll see how that pans out. Any ways to sum up the day, School sucked, Work sucked, Work out was lovely, April was crazy, Trader joes.

Bitches and Mothers

So today was going fairly well my mother had forgotten to wash my karate uniform which is not a problem if when I ask her if she can on thursday she says no, or when I remind her on saturday she says no instead of replying yes both times and then not doing it. But whatever Aikido was good we had some lovely jazz music and got to see free form multiple oppenent sparing for the first time it was rediculous but fun. On the way home im going 70 behind this lady and there is an accident on the right, I only know it was an accident because I glanced over, well apparently this lady felt it was her god given right to decelerate to 40 mph in order to get a better look and as I return my eyes to the road I see what when your going 70 ammounts to a barely moving object, so I slam on the breaks and avoid hitting them, but then this person in the back has the gaul to glare at me as though I almost hit them.... I dont care what insurance companies say breaking for no reason is retarded and if there is kharma that gal is going to be looking back when a semi has to make a dead stop and WHAM. Oh well I try to get over it and focus on the music ect. As I pull up my street I see my mother and her boy friend leave, which is mildly upsetting since we were supposed to go to safeway so I could get some food for the week. Well when I called her she tells me shes going to Tacobell, which wouldn't be an issue if the place didn't make me sick as a dog everytime I eat it, so this translates into I need to get my own dinner. Then she asks what all I needed at safeway because all she got was powerbars... upon question I find she has gone to safeway and gotten nothing I needed, and this is after asking her yesterday morning if we could go to safeway this weekend to which she responded yes. So from this I come to the conclusion my mother is either a liar or does not know the meaning of the word yes, either way its not looking good. It's days like these that make me hate people.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."-

Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi said a lot good things and I think I intend to make this quote a staple of my life but I run into a problem. I do not have a specific codified set of values from which to found my will. I think this may in part be that I'm a teenager and that my core values have yet to solidify in any particular way. But even aside from that I need a cause something to make my driving goal, and when I look around these days I can find very few causes worth dying for and none worth living for. I don't know what strength means to me any more and maybe that is not important but there is still that hero thing I can't seem to get over. Curse you oh romantic youth, that you should twist my thoughts into idealized visions and grandiose plans.

Alone

Working out alone sucks. It is nice on occasion to go on a solo run or just hit the weights hard on your own but when you want to really get a good work out you need some one else there with you. Spotting is so vitally important in bench and a variety of other free weight things, not to mention that another person is useful for giving yourself a decent recovery time and pushing you to do that one last rep. Despite this draw back I am very actively attempting to get my bench back up and hopefully break 200 for 4 reps by February or so.
The real thing I realized today is how few friends I have left in Danville, and I'm debating whether I really want to bother to make an effort to meet new people when I plan on getting the hell out of dodge in the next year or two. There is also the issue with DVC that is the lack of intellect in the vast majority of people, there is as always some exception, but it took me 3 years to find the exceptions at San Ramon and half of those I fought with on and off until senior year when we all grew up or something. I should have gone off to real college so atleast I could meet people in the dorms.